Trigger Warning: This post reflects on grief, loss, and the resilience of the human heart. It contains descriptions of tragic events and may be emotionally intense.
I recently spent the evening with my sister’s family as they rode the waves of grief. They were reeling from the loss of an entire family of friends, gunned down in an unimaginable act of violent terror.
There have been—and will continue to be—tears of anguish, the constant questioning of why and how this can have happened, and those other questions
- How will I go to the park when I’ve always gone there with my best friend?
- How will I wake up tomorrow and be forced to realize this isn’t a nightmare?
Remembering “The Moment”
The teenage girl had nicknamed herself “the Moment.” She was unique and happy and comfortable in her own skin. She made people laugh. She loved—she simply loved, because that’s who she was.
In the middle of the night her uncle, fragile before military service and destroyed afterwards, came into her house and gunned down her family, then left to wreak his destruction on others, leaving seven holes in countless hearts.
Some humans are vulnerable to evil. Yet many more are inherently good.
Choosing How to Respond
The outpouring of concern, of heart-felt compassion and love, has been amazing to witness. When we focus the spotlight of attention on such a tragedy, as happens too often these days, our hearts crack open a little more. We feel each others’ grief. In the face of heartache and loss, with hearts wide open and in suffocating pain, we have two choices.
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Shut down: Close off, build layers over our hearts, and retreat from vulnerability.
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Move through the pain: Let grief deepen our capacity to love. In the crucible of despair, our hearts can soften, becoming more pure and beautiful.
The innocents who seem to sacrifice themselves every day—sometimes quietly, sometimes publicly—remind us: don’t lose faith. We are still here. We still love. Be happy, be kind, and simply love.