Have you ever wondered what makes some couples happy and successful, while others struggle and often fail? Here are four things that happy couples do to keep love alive!

They focus on the positives


In order to have a great relationship, we need to feel safe with our partner. Bringing a “glass is half-full” mindset to our relationship sets up a positive feedback loop: Because we see in our partner more of the good than the bad, we respond to them more positively. This allows our partners to feel happier because they feel safer and more supported. That, in turn, leads to more interactions that are positive.

They make their relationship a priority

In our hectic modern life, many couples struggle to find time to be together. Those who rise to the challenge, however, reap the rewards that come from this closeness. Even when balancing work, kids, household chores, and other responsibilities, happy couples make time for each other. From going to bed at the same time, to putting love-notes in each other’s lunch boxes, to sending messages during the day to let their partners know they are on their minds, to greeting each other with a hug at the end of the workday, happy couples find ways to connect every day.

They act (and speak) with kindness

They know that in order to have a happy relationship, they must be kind to their partner. They do little things with great kindness, even if it’s emptying the dishwasher. They acknowledge the things their partner does for them, and don’t take these things for granted. If they have something important to say, they find ways to say it that considers their partners’ feelings. When the relationship is a priority, being kind to their partner is a priority.

They speak their truth

When they have something important to say, they find a way to say it. This truth-speaking, however, hinges on the glass-is-half-full, relationship-as-priority, speaking-with-kindness principles outlined above. Because when we see our partner as, well, our partner, then we can say what’s on our mind and know that we are in this together, and we will find solutions to our problems together. Of course, every couple will have disagreements. That’s part of life. But while troubled couples become adversaries, happy couples form an alliance. Disagreements are things to work out, not fight about.

Try adding these simple ingredients to your relationship and keep love alive!