Poetry from the Other Side, Dealing with Death.
In the summer of 2015, a client of mine―I'll call her Beth―made her transition out of the body. I had worked with her for a year and a half as she battled a particularly aggressive form of cancer. She and I became close as regular clients and their therapists do. I was sad, but even more so, I was honored to help. It is powerful, coming to terms with and dealing with death. It was an experience I will never forget.
Blocked
A few weeks before she died, I visited Beth in the hospital to do some Reiki healing. (I am a Reiki Master in addition to a regular mental health counselor). A couple of days later, I went back to do another healing session, but this time there were endless interruptions and the healing never got done. When I left her that afternoon, I told her that I would check in and do some distant healing.
I went home with every intention to do distant Reiki, but when I tried to connect, I was "told" that I wasn't allowed to. When we do distant healing, we telepathically or mentally ask for permission. For the first time in my experience, it was not granted.
Beth and I emailed each other later that week, and she wrote that she was in hospice. I offered to come and visit her and do some more Reiki. In a message on Tuesday, she suggested that maybe I could come on Friday. In the days that followed she was in and out of consciousness. Her husband took over answering her text messages. We never got the visit scheduled for that Friday, so I tried again to do some distant communication and healing. This time, permission granted.
The Healing
When I connected with Beth, the first thing that I saw was an image of her body lifted over itself. And then she and I began to have a conversation. I found myself reassuring her that it was OK for her to go. I was guided to say things that I'd never thought of before, and the words flowed through me.
Beth's biggest problem was her anguish at leaving her teenage daughter. However, I saw and shared that this early death had been known since before her daughter was born. In fact, though not consciously, all of the decisions that they had made as a family were leading to this point and preparing the daughter for success.
When I finished talking I saw my client-friend standing before me, with a blazing sun behind her. She looked radiant and reassured, confident, happy, and powerful. Three days later, she died.
Dealing with Death
I attended her funeral, which was an amazing service filled with reverence and love. Many of the women in attendance were wearing head scarves, and some of them were printed with Beth's poetry. The day was beautiful. Her spirit was surely there, proud to witness the love and devotion of her community.
On the day following her death, another friend of mine was giving a talk on metaphysics and channeling. At the end of her talk, she led our group through a guided meditation in which we connected with a loved one on the other side.
In the exercise, we went up a flight of stairs and down a hallway into a room and sat on a bench. Next to us was a box. We were to open the box and see if it had any contents. Mine contained a scarf printed with Beth's poetry, but I couldn't read the words.
And then Beth was there. I started hurriedly talking to her but then decided to stop and pay attention! Immediately I saw an image of two women walking arm-in-arm down a ballroom floor, dressed in Victorian style clothing. After that I saw an image of a white horse's head with its mane blowing back in the wind. Both images gave me the impression that Beth and I have been friends before – that was the reason we had such an easy rapport and felt so close.
And then Beth read the poem that she had written for me.
True friendship transcends all bounds of time and place.
The seeds of friendship once planted blossom over many lifetimes.
Thank you for being my true friend.
Thank you, my friend. It is an honor to have crossed paths again.
You Get What You (Think You) Deserve
In my therapy practice in Bryn Mawr, I often help clients resolve issues they have been dealing with for years. The issue may present in different forms, but at its core, it is the same thing, again and again. You get what you (think you) deserve.
Intractable issues?
Typically these intractable issues come in the areas of finance, relationship problems, or weight and other health issues. Even when we know, intellectually, that we should be able to keep our weight in check, or have healthy relationships, or freedom from financial struggle, we often let ourselves down, re-living the same problem again and again. We think we have it mastered, only to see it show up again.
Why? Why, after so much growth and effort, do we face the same stuff again and again? The problem lies deep in the subconscious mind, which is running programming from an earlier time in our lives (or lifetimes). On some level, the problem has become part of our identity; and on a deep level, we think that we deserve it. Consciously we know we deserve to be clear of it, but that doesn’t change the subconscious belief that we do not.
And it isn't simply that the problem is familiar. Usually, on a deep level, we believe that we deserve to have the problem. That's right: If you are struggling with some issue that seems to crop up again and again, chances are good that somewhere deep inside you believe you deserve it. On a deep level, you've bought the lie. The good news is that it is actually simple to find out what this reversal is and then to clear it. When we root out the mistruth we've been subconsciously repeating, the whole system collapses in on itself and we are free. I've seen clients laugh and cry when they release the lie. The world looks different and things fall into place.
And then, it shifts
Once an issue is cleared, it is cleared for good. However, sometimes there are layers upon layers that need to be addressed. Luckily, if a new facet of the issue is presented, it can be cleared in the same way the last one was. My approach combines energy psychology, hypnotherapy, and some neurolinguistic programming to efficiently resolve the issues, in a safe and peaceful way. It is always an honor to do this kind of work and so inspiring to see people make positive changes in their lives. Because they deserve to!
Peace, Love, and Crime: Transcendental Meditation and the Maharishi Effect
For quite a long time now, I've been interested in the effects of distant healing and the ability of people to impact consciousness for the greater good. In my therapy practice in Bryn Mawr, I often can feel the energy shift as clients are making changes. But can we make changes beyond the therapy room? Is what I'm feeling real? I think it is, and that we can, based on what I have read about meditation and the Maharishi effect.
The 1% effect. (No, not that 1%)
One of the most fascinating studies of the impact of group consciousness on the greater whole is the Maharishi Effect. Back in the 1970s, Maharishi Mahesh Yogi, developer of Transcendental Yoga and guru to the stars, predicted that if 1% of a population performed Transcendental Meditation (TM), they would produce measurable improvements in the overall quality of life for the entire population. His students began to track the data, and in 1976 published a paper that found a 16% reduction in crime when 1% of the population participated in TM.
If isolated TM practitioners could have such an effect, they wondered, what would be the impact of a group meditating together? Researchers predicted that the coherence generated by a group of TM practitioners working together could impact a group the size of the square of the number of meditators. In other words, two people meditating together could impact a group of four; 100 meditators could impact 10,000; and 1,600 could impact 256 million people― the population of the US at that time.
And so they set out to test their hypothesis, collecting FBI crime data in the US, and other data from around the world, when large TM groups met. Statisticians carefully controlled for other variables, and the findings are remarkable.
Here are some of the highlights (and here's a link to my primary source):
- 1980-1981, crime in Delhi decreased by 11% during a TM convention
- 1984-1985, crime in Manila decreased by 12.5% during a TM convention
- 1981-1983, Maharishi University opened a campus in DC; violent crime decreased.
- 1983, a group of meditators met in Jerusalem; crime in Jerusalem decreased 7.4%; crime in Israel decreased 4.1%.
- The war in Lebanon was also affected, with a decrease in war death and war intensity.
- 1993, violent crimes decreased during a TM convention in DC and politics functioned better―enough to make a reporter remark, "such a swift reversal of political fortunes is not easy to account for".
- 1979-1985, when the group of meditators at Maharishi University in Iowa numbered more than square root of 1% of US population, there was a decrease in violent deaths in the US.
- TM group participation in Iowa also affected quality of life in Canada, with a marked decrease in violent deaths, cigarette consumption and worker strikes.
Can we start to take advantage of this? Please?
The data are impactful, and I was left wondering ―why did it take me 20 years to hear about it? Why haven't we capitalized on this effect? And―can we start now? Last summer I held a group meditation on 8/8, the "Lion's Gate", as part of the worldwide synchronized meditation for peace. I think that when enough people tune in, we will make a difference in the world. I'm already marking my calendar for this year's International Day of Peace, 9/21/2015―and I hope you do, too.
I suspect that it is not TM alone, but any practice that brings people to a calm, heart-centered, spiritual state that can have such an impact. And I intend to find out!
I goofed ―and it turns out, I grew
In addition to my work as a therapist and healer, I am a yoga teacher --and I love it. Being a part of the yoga community is rewarding, being a teacher is an honor. Finding the right time-slot for a class is both art and science, as we try to figure out when people can, and want to, come to class. Two weeks ago I spoke with the owner of the studio where I teach, and we decided to start my class 15 minutes earlier. I think this is a fantastic idea: it will bring more students to the class; it will make my day end a little earlier. The new time was to begin yesterday. The problem is, I forgot. En route to the studio, I realized my mistake. Instead of being ten minutes early, I was going to be five minutes late.
And then, a miracle happened: I didn't beat myself up.
I spoke with the studio owner, who was on site as she had just finished teaching. She was gracious and handled the situation with a problem-solver's good humor. She said she'd start the class, and I could take over when I got there. Her grace made it easier for me to hold mine. That is huge. That is HUGE. That is something we can all learn from. We can make the world a safer, happier place by choosing to panic less and to be calm and kind.
According to the Dalai Lama, the purpose of life is to be happy. It is difficult to be happy when we are caught in a constant barrage of criticism, especially that sneaky and pervasive self-criticism. Giving others grace is profound. Giving ourselves the same grace that we would grant another is life-changing. We are going to make mistakes; we are human. How we respond to those mistakes can determine our overall happiness. It can take us closer to, or move us away from, the very purpose of our lives.
I have a history of deep, pervasive, acerbic self-criticism. But I have been really working on this stuff since 2002. I have an arsenal of effective and well-honed techniques that have helped me: hypnotherapy; EFT and other Energy Psychology techniques; Reiki and other energy healing; an almost-daily meditation practice. (Note this is a meditation practice, not a perfect. I have yet to achieve samadhi. I barely find pratyahara. It's all good.)
I've also grown older, and at 46, I'm not the same gal I was at 33. My dad, known for his character and wisdom, once assured me that "these [crises] have a way of working themselves out". Crises do pass, and while they are with us, they teach us a lot. Sometimes I think of my Higher Self speaking to me like a light-hearted Mafioso, saying "We can do this the easy way, or we can do it the hard way…." Let's do the easy way, please.
Yesterday's mistake showed me how far I have come. I would like to take this opportunity to congratulate Sarah. Good job yesterday! Congratulations on not freaking out or beating yourself up. And please, keep up the good work―life is much happier that way.
:)
The role of emotions in cancer
In my therapy practice, I work with women who have breast cancer. They are often afraid of their fear: the Law of Attraction has become a monster for them. The issue is the LoA and how it applies — and does not apply — to getting and fighting cancer.
I have studied the LoA for years. There is a lot of (I believe rather immature) stuff on the internet about the LoA. "Think well and you will be well," the teaching goes. I think it grossly oversimplifies the case. And worse, I think it freaks people out.
Is there nothing to fear but fear itself?
So many women I work with are freaking out because they are scared, and they are scared of being scared. This puts them in a bind. They can't begin to grapple with the fear, move through it, and let it move through them, because they are afraid that in being afraid they are making themselves sicker.
Because they are afraid of the power of their fear, they don't allow themselves to express it. Consequently, their fear has no way out. It grows in the darkness. Even worse, these women feel shame because they have fear.
For most of us, a cancer diagnosis is @%*&# scary.
Things get better
And then things get better. Most of the time — by far, most of the time — my clients do, too. They learn about treatment options and they start the marathon. They find out that the sun still rises, and they still laugh and have fun.
The marathon ends and they reflect on how much they have gained. They know a lot about mindfulness and meditation, complementary therapies, nutrition, and natural beauty products. They have learned to tell the people they love that they love them. And importantly, they don't sweat the small stuff.
Fear, the Law of Attraction, and the “boogeyman”
But for many women with breast cancer, the road to recovery is fraught with the boogeyman named the Law of Attraction. They come to me and cry: "I am afraid, and worse, I am afraid of being afraid; I'm afraid that my fear is killing me. If I let myself feel afraid, am I making my cancer grow? I am afraid to let myself feel afraid, and yet I'm still afraid. I have no power over this fear. It feels like life and death."
Don’t suppress your emotions
I don't pretend to have all the answers. But I know my clients. I read the research, I talk to people, and I listen. And I can tell you that there is not a shred of evidence that feeling afraid makes people sicker. On the other hand, there is research, including a study of 94 women with recurrent or metastatic breast cancer, showing that unprocessed trauma hurts.
David Spiegel, M.D., one of the study authors, says, “People do better in the aftermath of traumatic stress if they deal with it directly. Facing, rather than fleeing it, is important… In other words, don’t suppress your emotions (emphasis mine).”
Please. Don’t. Suppress. Your. Emotions.
Emotions are not "good" or "bad." What we do with them, however, has consequences. Suppressed emotions can cause some serious mischief. Keeping our fear pushed down is exhausting. And it’s inauthentic. Moreover, we can't heal what we can't allow ourselves to feel.
I think that having a dialogue with our feelings is healthy. In English we say, "I AM afraid." Other languages express it as "I HAVE fear," and there is a certain mindful distancing that comes from framing our emotions this way.
What I want you to know
What I want to say to my clients, to all the women who are fighting the fight, to you, is this:
Please don't punish yourself by fearing your fear. Let yourself feel your feelings. Let the fear move through you. Then, you will find yourself on the other side of that feeling and see how much you have grown.
My life is giving birth to me
Being born is not a comfortable process. I often feel that my life is "giving birth" to me. This is a metaphor that often comes to mind when I'm working with my clients in my therapy practice in Bryn Mawr.
There are moments of comfort, certainly. But there are unavoidable moments of painful growth, when I am squeezed and pushed and molded into something new. Painful experience seems to be part of the human condition. We are told that humanity as a whole is progressing under the 4th Ray of Divinity, the Ray of harmony through conflict. That theory is hard to argue with.
Our painful experiences, though, are turning us into something more useful and pure. Pain is the heat applied in the crucible of our existence. When we hold this in our minds, it makes the pain a little easier to bear. When we are able to detach a little from the pain, we can navigate it a little better. One way I've found to be a little more detached is to remember that each of us is made up of many parts, physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual.
Our bodies are made up of 50 trillion cells, and each of those cells is a little unit of consciousness. Bruce Lipton, in the fabulous Biology of Belief, describes the movement of cells in a lab setting: In a Petri dish, human cells will move toward a sugar source and away from a poison. They have consciousness, of course on a different scale than ours, but consciousness nonetheless. Imagine how they respond to the thoughts we send to them…imagine how they will respond to kinder thoughts.
Our emotions exist on a different level of consciousness than our bodies or our minds. Emotions use different brain structure than thoughts. The limbic system is the emotional brain and the cortex is the "thinking" brain. The limbic system sends more signals up to the cortex than the other way around, which helps explain why emotions can sometimes overwhelm reason. Luckily we can learn to take a more detached position, and when we do, we begin to notice the flow of emotions. We still experience them, but without drowning in them.
Our thoughts are different from our feelings. Our thoughts sometimes run away with us, but with practice we learn to control them. The first step to this control is to witness them. We notice them arise and float away, and begin to realize that we have thoughts, but we are not our thoughts. We have been told that with our thoughts we create the world. As I look back on my own life experiences, it seems that there is some truth to this. But often we create by accident or default because we create the things we are afraid of. With practice we can learn to use our thoughts to create the things that are for our higher good.
The highest level of being that most of us are able to access at times is the level of our Soul, which is who we really are. Instead of identifying with the passing pleasure and pain of our 3-D physical world, we are learning to identify with a higher purpose, a higher level of consciousness. When we contact our soul, we experience pure joy, gratitude, and peace. We become more intuitive and less critical, and realize that when one member of our human family is suffering, we all suffer. We come to understand that we are more than what meets the eye.
I think that is the purpose of our suffering: To teach us to shift our focus upward. Painful experience shows us that we are placing our attention on the temporary and transient rather than the real and transcendent. Holding on to this idea has helped me to witness my suffering on one level, even as I participate in it on another. This eases the pain and opens me up to pure joy. And that is pretty fantastic!
My typo as a metaphor, and it's OK to ask for help
I sent an email newsletter last week and it had a big mistake in it. The second paragraph makes no sense. It says: "Have you ever considered that what we do that with our spaces, we can do that with our energy fields?"
I knew what I meant.
I usually have a second set of eyes proofread for me, but this time I was late getting it sent and was impatient. I read it several times, and read it out loud. Reading my writing aloud is a good way to make sure it makes sense. But this time it didn't work.
The problem was that I knew what I meant to say, so I didn't notice what I actually typed. Knid of lkie you can udnresantd waht tihs syas.
I should have used my proofreader.
Which brings me to the point: We should always use our team!
Humans are social creatures. When we tell ourselves, very stubbornly, "I can do it all by myself" we are likely mistaken. The stubbornness itself is probably a sign that we are mistaken.
Of course there are lots of things we are supposed to do alone, but in the bigger scale, "no man is an island unto himself". We humans thrive in relationships. We are happy in community. We gravitate to groups, try to find our tribe, we work out our issues in relationship with others.
When my little sister was in a high chair and just learning to talk, she wanted to do everything all by herself. One night we were having stir-fry with soy sauce, she was at that age of budding independence and wanted to pour it "all by herself". The over-sauced food made her shudder.
This is what happens to us even as adults when we stubbornly, and I dare say immaturely, decide that we can do "it" ―anything, everything―all by ourselves. We shudder as we learn the hard lessons of ego, and come to realize the beautiful reality of interdependence.
I see many brave and strong clients who mistakenly believe that asking for help in time of crisis is a sign of weakness. I have done this too, but I try to remember what I remind my clients.
Getting help is not a sign of weakness: It is a sign of humanity. Sometimes we find that the best thing we can do is to ask for help, to let others in. When we deny ourselves the help, and deny others the opportunity to be of service, we throw things out of balance.
Sometimes we give, and sometimes we take. Sometimes we lead, and sometimes we follow. But we never travel alone. And when we forget that, we have forgotten the very thing that makes us human.
Introduction to the Chakras: Understanding Your Energy Centers
You are more than your physical body—you are an energy being, timeless and expansive. But how does this energy form the “we” that we see? Part of the explanation comes from understanding the energy body. This introduction to the chakras is a good place to start.
Our physical body acts as a reservoir for energy from the biofield, which surrounds and interpenetrates us. Within the biofield are seven major energy centers, or chakras, along with many minor centers. Each chakra corresponds to a layer of the aura and a specific gland, and influences both physical and emotional health.
The word chakra means “wheel” in Sanskrit, because each center spins to allow energy to flow in and out of the body.
Energy Flow Through the Chakras
Energy enters through the crown chakra and circulates downward through all the other chakras. It flows into the back and out the front, stepping down through layers of the aura until it enters the etheric sheath, the layer surrounding the physical body.
The health of your physical body is linked to the flow of energy in the etheric body, which is influenced by all the other chakras. A clear, balanced energy system supports vitality, emotional well-being, and spiritual growth.
The Seven Major Chakras
1. The Root Chakra
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Location: Just below the perineum
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Glands: Adrenals (fight-or-flight response)
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Physical/Emotional Focus: Survival, grounding, sleep, immune and kidney health
When balanced, we feel grounded, alive, and secure on Earth.
2. The Sacral Chakra
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Location: Two inches below the navel
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Glands: Reproductive
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Focus: Emotions, sexuality, relationships, harmony, digestive and reproductive health
A balanced sacral chakra supports emotional equilibrium and healthy relationships.
3. The Solar Plexus Chakra
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Location: Diaphragm area
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Glands: Pancreas
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Focus: Ego, self-esteem, stress, digestive health
A clear solar plexus allows the ego to support, rather than dominate, the Higher Self.
4. The Heart Chakra
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Location: Center of the chest
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Glands: Thymus
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Focus: Love, forgiveness, immunity, heart and lung health
A balanced heart chakra connects us to our Higher Self and to group consciousness.
5. The Throat Chakra
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Location: Base of the throat
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Glands: Thyroid
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Focus: Communication, self-expression, manifestation
Clear energy here allows truthful expression and alignment with Higher Self guidance.
6. The Ajna (Third Eye) Chakra
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Location: Middle of the forehead
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Glands: Pituitary
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Focus: Intuition, insight, endocrine balance
A balanced ajna chakra enhances awareness and integrates the energy of lower centers.
7. The Crown Chakra
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Location: Above the top of the head
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Glands: Pineal
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Focus: Spiritual connection, universal consciousness, migraines
The crown chakra connects us to Spirit and allows energy to flow throughout the system.
Next Steps
Now that you have a basic understanding of the chakras, consider how you might explore them further. Studying energy flow can deepen your intuition, enhance emotional balance, and support your physical health.
Lessons from Past-Life Regression: A Personal Journey
Years ago, I explored past-life regression therapy as part of my own personal growth journey. While I no longer practice this modality, the experience taught me powerful lessons about fear, courage, and speaking my truth—lessons that continue to inform my work as a therapist today.
One of the most striking experiences happened in graduate school. Public speaking had never been a problem for me—I gave presentations confidently, taught classes, and even led workshops. But for one final project in my human development class, I chose to speak about the chakras, and unexpectedly, I became physically ill after presenting.
Curious about this reaction, I met with a hypnotherapist, and through regression work, we uncovered a past-life memory in which I had been stoned for holding religious beliefs that differed from the prevailing norm. What mattered most, however, was not the memory itself, but the healing that followed. Through the process, I was able to confront fear, nurture courage, and experience a profound sense of protection and calm from my Higher Self.
The insight from this experience is universal: often, our fears or blocks in life aren’t entirely “new.” They can be echoes of old patterns, whether from childhood or, as this story illustrates, something that feels much older. Healing—whether through therapy, reflection, or mindfulness—helps us release these patterns, reclaim our personal power, and step more fully into who we are.
Even though I don’t use past-life regression anymore, I remain grateful for the lessons it offered: courage to speak your truth, compassion for yourself, and awareness that healing is always possible. These lessons continue to guide my approach in supporting clients through their own growth and transformation.
Energy Healing Benefits: Understanding the Power of Energy Work
Energy work is gaining popularity as a powerful tool for personal growth and healing. Clients often notice profound transformations after just one session. Some experience relief from physical discomfort, while others find emotional clarity even in difficult situations.
Humans Are Energy Beings
We are more than our physical bodies—we are energy beings. The physical body responds to energetic input from the etheric layers of the aura. Many people have noticed a subtle white outline around objects or people; this is the aura in action. It acts as a template for our physical existence and influences our overall health and well-being.
Science and Energy Work
Interestingly, modern science offers some explanations that align with energy work. In the film A Thin Sheet of Reality (2011 World Science Festival), physicists from MIT, Berkeley, and Stanford suggest that our three-dimensional world may be a holographic projection of a two-dimensional template. This theory originates from research into black holes and the nature of reality.
Bruce Lipton, author of The Biology of Belief, also provides scientific insight into how our thoughts, beliefs, and energy fields influence our biology. While we don’t need a PhD to experience energy healing, these scientific perspectives help bridge the gap between traditional science and energy-based practices.
How Energy Healing Works
Energy healing focuses on identifying and releasing blocked or stagnant energy. These blocks can manifest as physical pain, emotional distress, or spiritual stagnation. By restoring balance and flow within the energy body, individuals often report feeling lighter, calmer, and more aligned with their true selves.
Energy healing is not just about symptom relief—it supports personal growth, emotional well-being, and spiritual development. When energy flows freely, the physical, emotional, and spiritual aspects of a person can function in harmony.
Conclusion
Energy work is a practical and profound way to enhance overall well-being. By understanding and working with the energy body, individuals can experience significant transformation, clarity, and balance in their lives.