Signs That Point Us Along Our Way
I had been thinking of going to graduate school but I was afraid. It would cost money and time that I was not sure I had to invest. It seemed like I already had a lot on my plate as a single mom of three young kids. And it had been a while since I’d done the school thing. I graduated from college thirteen years earlier, and had taken some more undergraduate classes since then, but it had been years since I was in a classroom. Formal graduate education was daunting.
However, I didn’t have another plan. I was teaching yoga and had been studying Reiki. I had considered learning massage and trying to earn a living as a massage therapist/Reiki practitioner/yoga teacher. But I had another thought—that maybe I should get a master’s degree in counseling and become a therapist.
I was on the mailing list of Immaculata University, which is a beautiful school close to where I live. Earlier in the summer, I had attended a yoga teacher training, and one afternoon I decided to dedicate my practice to getting clarity on the grad-school issue. At the end of class, I had my answer: go to grad school. I stood in front of dozens of my fellow students and shared what I had received. But then I went home and chickened out. Instead of registering for classes, I continued spinning in fear and doubt.
At the end of the summer, I went to the beach for a vacation. Early in the week, I headed to the water’s edge to do a surf-side meditation to get clarity on this issue (again!). I sat down, closed my eyes, and asked for a sign. I heard one of those advertising airplanes overhead, and thought “No, I’m not going to look—I’m doing meditation.” But I couldn’t help it. My eyes opened up and I saw the banner: Immaculata University. No kidding, though I did laugh. I packed up my chair, went back to the house, went online, and signed up for a class right away.
My story was a legend at school. I heard that they’d only flown the banner once or twice that summer, and we laughed that clearly, it was for me and that with my tuition fees, it did indeed pay for itself! One of my teachers wondered how many people in the same situation would have not looked up, or not noticed, or not heeded the “coincidence”.
Sixteen later I can say without a doubt: I’m glad I did. And I am certain that, even if they are not always literal signs, we DO receive signs that point us along our way. Once we accept that these signs exist, staying calm and centered to the best of our ability helps us begin to notice them. And they carry the constant reminder: We are never alone.
What signs have pointed you along your way? Post in the comment section.
How to Commit to a Daily Meditation Practice
We all know the benefits of meditation—lower blood pressure, improved mental focus, reduced stress, and even better outcomes for medical treatments. Yet, despite knowing these benefits, many of us struggle to make meditation a daily habit.
If you’ve ever wondered, “Why can’t I stick with it?”, here’s a breakdown of common obstacles our egos create—and practical ways to work around them.
1. “I’m too busy.”
The ego loves this excuse. But even five to ten minutes of meditation can have a powerful impact. Start small. Give your ego a win by agreeing to a short, achievable practice.
2. “I don’t know how to meditate.”
Maybe your inner voice says:
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“I can’t stop thinking!”
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“Meditation has to involve a mantra!”
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“I need to sit cross-legged!”
Meditation isn’t one-size-fits-all. Explore different styles—mindfulness, guided meditations, breathwork—and find what feels right for you.
3. “I can’t stop thinking.”
Sometimes meditation starts with thinking. Let your mind process errands, chores, or ideas before moving into stillness. This “thinking time” can clear your mind and even spark insights you wouldn’t have otherwise.
4. “I always fall asleep.”
If meditation makes you drowsy, keep sessions short and posture upright. Think of it as training your mind with patience—like teaching toddlers self-control. Persistence pays off.
5. “I’m not a morning person.”
While mornings are ideal, meditation can happen anytime. Adjust to your schedule. Some mornings, some evenings—the key is consistency.
Make it enjoyable
Meditation should feel refreshing, energizing, and fun. As you notice the benefits, that positive feeling itself will encourage you to keep going.
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A Resolution to Be Happier
As you set goals for the New Year, have you thought about putting “be happy” at the top of your list? Happiness isn’t just a fleeting feeling—it’s linked to better health, stronger relationships, greater job satisfaction, and even success. Mindset shifts for happiness make a difference.
Research shows that pursuing superficial pleasures rarely leads to lasting happiness. True happiness comes from combining a positive outlook with meaning and purpose. Here are five mindset shifts that can help you cultivate more happiness in everyday life:
1. Adopt a “Glass-Is-Half-Full” Attitude
Life isn’t perfect, and challenges are inevitable. But focusing too much on negatives fuels discontent. Instead, shift your attention to what’s going well—acknowledge it, celebrate it, and watch it grow.
2. Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s easy to measure yourself against others—whether it’s a fancy car, a beautiful home, or a fit body—but comparison steals joy. Your journey is unique, and everyone faces struggles you may not see. Focus on your growth and your path.
3. Be Mindful of Your Words
Words carry power. Avoid gossip, harsh criticism, or hurtful speech—especially during conflicts. Instead, choose words that uplift, clarify, and connect. Mindful communication strengthens relationships and reduces stress.
4. Let Others In
Trusting others can feel risky, but it’s also deeply rewarding. Humans thrive in connection and community, so spend time with friends, allow yourself to love and be loved, and engage socially. Remember: no one succeeds in isolation.
5. Give Back
Giving back to others, to animals, to the environment, or to causes you care about is one of the most powerful ways to boost lasting happiness. Whether through volunteer work, small acts of kindness, or contributing to a larger cause, helping others enhances meaning and joy in life.
Happiness in Action
Start small. Pick one of these strategies to focus on this week. Over time, these practices compound, creating a more positive, fulfilling, and joyful life.
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Camping in the Rain: Three Rules for Living
Summer 1977. Somewhere outside Winston-Salem, NC.
The car was hot, its white vinyl seats slick with sweat. My parents sang along to John Denver, Kenny Rogers, and Willie Nelson whenever we could catch a radio station. My Irish-twin sister, Kathleen Rachel, and I groaned. (Jayne, you missed it!)
At a traffic light, a group of long-haired, bearded men on motorcycles pulled up. Mom gasped. “Oh! Joe! I’m scared! It’s a motorcycle gang!”
Dad calmly encouraged her to roll down the window. The men had noticed a loose wheel on our camper—it looked like it could fall off. They were stopping to help.
Rule 1: People who seem scary can be kind and helpful.
Mom and Dad decided to ditch the camper and invest in a tent. Thanks to Rand McNally and Mom’s amazing map skills, we found a mall to buy supplies. For Kathy and me, the day dragged. At the mall’s radio station, the DJ asked if we wanted to go on air. Kathy said yes; I hesitated. Later, she returned furious. When asked where she was from, the DJ had called her “son.”
Rule 2: Sometimes, it pays to be shy—or maybe good luck and bad luck are impossible to distinguish.
By nightfall, we reached the campground. Setting up the 1970s-style tent was a full-on adventure: heavy canvas, rigid poles, and stakes that wouldn’t budge. We sweated under the plastic tarp covering the tent in 98-degree, 99%-humidity heat.
Then the giggles started. “Heeheehee…heeheehee…” Mom’s laughter was contagious. Soon we were all in tears, laughing until we collapsed into our sleeping bags.
Rule 3: If you don’t know whether to laugh or cry, laugh.
That camping trip was far from perfect. The day had been long, uncomfortable, and chaotic—but it’s the one I remember most. Our most challenging moments often become our most cherished memories.
So, if you ever find yourself wrestling with a broken camper, a frustrated child, and a complicated tent in the rain—laugh.
How Facial Expressions Affect Mood: Smile Your Way to Happiness
Your face reflects the emotions you feel, and research shows how facial expressions affect mood in powerful ways. When we are sad, we frown; when we are angry, our eyes narrow and our faces tense. When we are happy, our eyes light up and we smile. Most of us can instantly tell a real smile from a fake one—but have you ever wondered what actually makes a smile genuine?
In a real smile, tiny muscles around the bottom eyelid lift in a crescent. Before I learned this, I could only sense it intuitively. This ability to read facial expressions is part of our empathy and connection to others—key aspects of human social life.
But it’s not just that our faces reflect our emotions—they can also influence how we feel. Since the 1980s, studies have shown that smiling can actually make us happier. Sales trainers have long recommended smiling before picking up the phone to sound more likable—and the effect isn’t just on others; it changes our own mood, too.
More recently, researchers at the University of Tokyo (Mori & Mori, 2009) used rubber bands and latex bandages to force participants’ cheeks into a smile or frown. Those in the smile group reported feeling happier, while those in the frown group felt sadder. A follow-up study in 2013 also found that participants who smiled tended to have a more positive opinion of others. In other words, even a “fake” smile can lift your mood and make social interactions feel better.
Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist, explores similar ideas about body language and facial expressions. Her popular TED Talk highlights how posture and facial expression shape our feelings. One of her fun suggestions? Place a pencil between your teeth to mimic a smile—it can make you feel happier instantly.
I loved sharing these experiments with my students at the local community college. Sometimes we’d put pencils or pens between our teeth just to see who would start laughing—and, inevitably, we did. Beyond the laughs, it’s a powerful reminder: our facial expressions can be used as tools to shift our emotions.
Whenever I feel my mood dip, I consciously plaster a smile on my face. It almost always brings me back to a sense of calm and happiness. You can try this, too—test it out for yourself and notice the difference.
If you give it a try, I’d love to hear how it goes—leave a comment below!
Letting Go of “The Shoulds” to Live a More Authentic Life
I recently worked with a client who had a severe case of “the shoulds.” She was caught in a counterproductive mindset, constantly thinking, “I should do this” or “I should be that.” She was so focused on what she thought she needed to be and do that she couldn’t appreciate where she actually was in her life—or see clearly where she wanted to go. Fun, spontaneity, and self-acceptance were off the table.
This pattern is incredibly common. Looking back, I recognize times in my own life when I was trapped by the “shoulds” as well. When we get stuck in thoughts about what we should be doing, how things should go, or what kind of person we should be, we disconnect from our authentic self. We operate at the ego level—overthinking, overanalyzing, and losing touch with presence. This mindset drains energy, clouds perception, and makes it difficult to live an effective, happy, and meaningful life.
Why letting go of “the shoulds” matters
When we release the “shoulds,” we free ourselves from unrealistic expectations—both from others and ourselves. Stepping out of ego-based thinking and into the heart center allows us to:
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Feel at peace: Let go of tension and constant self-judgment.
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Reconnect with authenticity: Align actions with true values rather than obligations.
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Trust life’s flow: Develop confidence in your path and in yourself.
Sometimes, if I could share only one thing with my clients, it would be: forget the “shoulds” and allow life to unfold naturally. Let go of external agendas and even your internal pressure. Shift awareness from the ego to your heart, and trust in the natural order of things.
How to start letting go
If you feel trapped by “the shoulds,” here’s a simple practice:
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Pause and breathe: Take a few deep breaths and bring attention to your heart center.
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Connect to your higher self: Ask yourself to release the expectations you carry—both those you impose on yourself and those imposed by others.
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Set an intention: With repeated practice, you’ll cultivate presence, clarity, and authenticity in daily life.
Over time, living without the weight of “shoulds” allows you to experience life with more joy, confidence, and grace. You can be fully present with what is—and from that place, weave a life of purpose, fulfillment, and authenticity.
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Memory Reconsolidation and Energy Psychology: Healing Traumatic Memories
Memory reconsolidation and energy psychology work together to help people transform traumatic memories into experiences that no longer trigger distress. When clients vividly recall difficult events while practicing tapping on meridian points, the emotional charge of those memories can dissolve, allowing lasting healing and calm. This process shows how the mind-body connection in energy psychology can create profound change.
One of the most rewarding aspects of being an energy psychology practitioner is witnessing that look of wonder in clients’ eyes when their traumatic memories no longer feel traumatic.
“I remember it, but I don’t feel upset about it,” they often say.
It’s moments like these that make the work so fulfilling.
A Powerful Example
I recall a client working through a childhood trauma. Tears streamed before we even began. When asked to rate his distress on a scale from 0–10, he said 100—and it felt genuine.
We began tapping, using meridian-based techniques like Thought Field Therapy (TFT) or Emotional Freedom Techniques (EFT). Gradually, his rating dropped: 10 → 6 → 3 → 0. By the end of the session, he looked wide-eyed and amazed:
"I remember, but I don’t feel upset. It’s a ZERO!"
How Does This Happen? Memory Reconsolidation
Memory reconsolidation explains why energy psychology can produce rapid, lasting change.
For decades, scientists believed long-term memories were permanent, including the emotions tied to them. But research from the late 1990s revealed that memories are changeable.
When a memory is activated, it becomes labile—open to change. Through reconsolidation, the uncomfortable emotions associated with a memory can be reduced or erased.
Bruce Ecker popularized the concept, highlighting the role of disrupted expectations in transforming emotional memories. Unlike traditional extinction-based therapies, which often see emotions return, memory reconsolidation can eliminate the anxiety tied to a disturbing memory.
Why Energy Psychology Works
Energy psychology, particularly tapping on acupoints, appears to help memory reconsolidation by shifting physiology. Neuroscientist Antonio Damasio (2000) explains that emotions are the brain’s interpretation of the body’s state. Calm the body, and the emotion fades.
During tapping:
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The client activates the troubling memory.
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Simultaneously, tapping calms the body and nervous system.
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The memory reconsolidates with this updated, calmer information.
Key Ingredients for Memory Reconsolidation
Researchers have identified three essential steps:
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Vividly remember the memory.
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Change the internal physiology (e.g., calm the body through tapping).
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Repeat the process until the emotional charge is gone.
Scientific Support
Studies show tapping on meridian points can influence brain and body chemistry:
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fMRI research demonstrates deactivation in limbic regions after tapping.
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EEG studies show healthier brainwave patterns post-treatment.
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Cortisol levels, a marker of stress, decrease following energy psychology sessions.
Energy psychology provides a structured way to activate troubling memories while simultaneously calming the body, making memory reconsolidation possible.
Healing Old Wounds
Energy psychology helps clients process traumatic memories safely, reduce emotional charge, and feel more at peace. Memory reconsolidation offers a scientific explanation for these powerful results. By combining mind and body, energy psychology facilitates deep, lasting healing.
How to Forgive and Reclaim Your Power
If you are human, you’ve likely experienced hurt—it’s part of life. The bad news? It can really sting. The good news? Hurt provides an opportunity to grow. One of the most powerful ways to transform pain into growth is learning how to forgive.
Forgiveness doesn’t mean that what happened was okay, that you condone the hurtful action, or that you need to reconcile with the person who caused the pain. Instead, forgiveness is a conscious choice—a way to reclaim your power, move forward, and increase your happiness. I’ve seen the benefits in my own life and in the lives of many clients. Once you make the choice to forgive, the process begins. Here are five practical steps to guide you:
1. Recognize that forgiveness is empowering
When we forgive, we take back our power from the person who hurt us. Holding on to resentment gives away your energy and allows the past to continue controlling your present.
How to do it: Center yourself, close your eyes, and imagine what life will feel like once you are free from this hurt. Visualization activates change—simply imagining this new reality begins to shift your energy.
2. Invoke your Higher Self
Healing is most effective when you connect with your Higher Self—the spiritual essence of who you truly are. This connection amplifies the forgiveness process.
How to do it: Quietly ask, “Higher Self, help me to forgive,” and trust that your request is heard. Repeat as often as needed—the more intention you put in, the more powerful the effect.
3. Cut the energetic cords
Anger and hurt create invisible cords that drain your energy. Releasing these cords restores your vitality.
How to do it: Close your eyes, center yourself, and visualize light and love in your heart. Picture the person who hurt you, and surround both of you in a protective blue light. Silently say: “I return your rightful energy to you, and I reclaim my own rightful energy for myself.” Notice any sensations—it may feel dizzying, but trust your Higher Self to guide the process.
4. Practice mindfulness
Painful emotions from the past can hijack your present. Mindfulness helps you anchor yourself in the current moment.
How to do it: Focus on something tangible—your breath, the feeling of your feet on the ground, or the pen in your hand. You can even create a grounding ritual, such as touching your forefinger to your thumb, to remind yourself that you are safe and present.
5. Learn from the experience
Every difficult experience carries a lesson. When we embrace these lessons, we move from victimhood to empowered living.
How to do it: When calm, ask yourself: “What was my role in this situation? What lesson did I gain? How can I grow from this?” Reflecting on your answers helps you reclaim your power and integrate the experience into your personal growth.
Forgiveness is an empowering choice and a gift you give yourself. Practicing it allows you to feel lighter, clearer, and more connected to your authentic self.
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5 Simple Ways to Stay Happy Every Day
Finding ways to stay happy can feel tricky, but it’s absolutely worth it. Happiness isn’t just a fleeting feeling—it’s a mindset, a choice, and a collection of small habits. When we commit to cultivating joy, we notice improvements in health, relationships, and overall wellbeing. Even when life throws challenges our way, there are practical strategies that make happiness more accessible.
“Be happy. It feels better!”
This has to be my absolute favorite quote from the Dalai Lama. It certainly is so true—of course it feels better to be happy! But is it really that simple? If we are not committed to happiness,
it can be fleeting and difficult to find. And even when we are making happiness a priority (which it really ought to be for a number of reasons), sometimes things go wrong and we get derailed. What’s a happiness-seeker to do?
1. Detach and Take the Long View
It’s easier said than done, but letting go of resistance to life’s ups and downs is powerful. Our pain often comes not from events themselves, but from how tightly we hold on to them. As my dad used to say, “these things have a way of working themselves out.” Looking back, we realize that many disappointments eventually lead to growth—and yes, happiness.
2. Put a Smile On
Even a fake one works! A Japanese study showed that people whose faces were positioned into a smile became happier, while those forced into a frown grew unhappier. Your body can actually trick your mind into feeling better—so smile often, even when it feels silly.
3. Move Your Body
Exercise isn’t just for your body—it’s a natural mood booster. Find a type of movement you enjoy: a walk with a friend, a yoga class, or just hitting the treadmill. Regular movement strengthens your body and lifts your spirits.
4. Connect with Others
We are social creatures, yet modern life often separates us from meaningful interaction. Friendly conversation, shared laughter, and quality time with friends or family are some of the simplest and most effective ways to stay happy. Social engagement is like a natural anti-depressant.
5. Practice Mindfulness and Meditation
Meditation and mindful practice help us disconnect from stress and reconnect to our inner calm. Even a few minutes a day can center your mind, ease tension, and cultivate lasting peace. Remember, happiness is a practice, not a one-time achievement.
Happiness doesn’t come from chasing pleasure alone—it comes from authenticity, meaningful relationships, productive work, and a rich spiritual life. When these foundations are strong, joy naturally unfolds.
What are your favorite ways to stay happy? I’d love to hear how you cultivate happiness in your everyday life!